The Finer Side of 30
Today I'm turning 30. I know some of you might think I'm being dramatic, age is just a number after all. However, it is and it isn't. Three decades of anything is a lot. I don't know many people driving around in cars from 1989. So, allow me to be a bit dramatic today. Also, its my birthday so I don't really care what you think. I'm gonna write this, and you don't have to read it.
On Monday when I started writing this I was not happy about my birthday. I've kind of been freaking out about it for almost a year and the closer it got the more I was hating it. The thing is, its been kind of a difficult year for me. 29 was no picnic, it was filled with stress, strife, and tension. For obvious reasons, I'm not going to get into the details of these events, but it is important to note their presence in my life.
But life can change unexpectedly and provide you a fresh perspective. Don't get me wrong. 29 was still crud, but after this week I honestly feel that I just have to choose to have a good day. You're allowed to still have bad days, ignoring how you feel is not healthy and can do more damage than good, but sometimes the best thing is to acknowledge this is how you feel but still give yourself a little perspective.
I spend so much of my time trying to figure out what to do next, there is a checklist of things I need to accomplish, and if I don't get there I feel like a failure. But life can change on you quickly, and those goals can also change. Living in the moment is often the hardest thing a person can do. Particularly in this time in Earth's history, when thinking of the future is important. What is equally important is taking a step back and working with today.
I really like that quote from Kung Fu Panda (these movies are amazing, everyone should watch them, what is wrong with you) where Po is filled with self doubt and wants to give up on his goals because he isn't who he thinks he should be. Master Oogway approaches Po and tells him, "You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the 'present.'" Oogway is not telling Po that he can accomplish anything he puts his mind to (even though he really is the Dragon warrior and a Kung Fu master, seriously watch Kung Fu Panda), but that Po needs to appreciate every day as it comes and make the decision to live in the now.
So yeah, I can sit here and bum about this year, and how I'm not where I want to be, but I've gotten around 10,950 'presents' in my life (this number is not exact, I didn't calculate for leap years cuz I'm lazy and also math.) Realistically maybe 10% were bad, but they don't come with a gift receipt so I can't return them.
Life shapes who you are and how you react to hardship. I try to be optimistic, granted I whine a lot, but I'm generally excited for whats next. Which is why this blog is called the finer side, because I do try to look at what is good about everything. This particular take has been difficult as of late, hence the very infrequent posting, but today I'm 30. I keep feeling that I need to act more 'adult', but being what society considers 'adult-like' is, frankly, boring. Sure, driving and being out late and travel are fun, but I bought myself toys two weeks ago and I feel no regrets about it. You don't have to push aside your imagination and replace it with realism, you just have to understand there is a time and place. So, I keep my toys and coloring books at home, but that wont stop me from pulling them out and using them.
So yeah, I'm gonna dye my hair, play with toys, color, sleep with stuffed animals, watch movies in blanket forts, and eat macaroni and cheese, but I'm also gonna file my taxes, buy groceries, make dinner, tell very bad jokes, help out where I can, and argue with 3 year-olds (because that bread on the table is exactly the same as the bread I just gave you what the heck, why do you want it instead? I don't understand!)
Time and time again, life is what you make it. and today I'm gonna make it a good one. So Happy Birthday to me!
Your reward for reading this far is this picture of sitka spruce.
On Monday when I started writing this I was not happy about my birthday. I've kind of been freaking out about it for almost a year and the closer it got the more I was hating it. The thing is, its been kind of a difficult year for me. 29 was no picnic, it was filled with stress, strife, and tension. For obvious reasons, I'm not going to get into the details of these events, but it is important to note their presence in my life.
But life can change unexpectedly and provide you a fresh perspective. Don't get me wrong. 29 was still crud, but after this week I honestly feel that I just have to choose to have a good day. You're allowed to still have bad days, ignoring how you feel is not healthy and can do more damage than good, but sometimes the best thing is to acknowledge this is how you feel but still give yourself a little perspective.
I spend so much of my time trying to figure out what to do next, there is a checklist of things I need to accomplish, and if I don't get there I feel like a failure. But life can change on you quickly, and those goals can also change. Living in the moment is often the hardest thing a person can do. Particularly in this time in Earth's history, when thinking of the future is important. What is equally important is taking a step back and working with today.
I really like that quote from Kung Fu Panda (these movies are amazing, everyone should watch them, what is wrong with you) where Po is filled with self doubt and wants to give up on his goals because he isn't who he thinks he should be. Master Oogway approaches Po and tells him, "You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the 'present.'" Oogway is not telling Po that he can accomplish anything he puts his mind to (even though he really is the Dragon warrior and a Kung Fu master, seriously watch Kung Fu Panda), but that Po needs to appreciate every day as it comes and make the decision to live in the now.
I definitely did not take a screen shot from a movie I was currently watching...
So yeah, I can sit here and bum about this year, and how I'm not where I want to be, but I've gotten around 10,950 'presents' in my life (this number is not exact, I didn't calculate for leap years cuz I'm lazy and also math.) Realistically maybe 10% were bad, but they don't come with a gift receipt so I can't return them.
Life shapes who you are and how you react to hardship. I try to be optimistic, granted I whine a lot, but I'm generally excited for whats next. Which is why this blog is called the finer side, because I do try to look at what is good about everything. This particular take has been difficult as of late, hence the very infrequent posting, but today I'm 30. I keep feeling that I need to act more 'adult', but being what society considers 'adult-like' is, frankly, boring. Sure, driving and being out late and travel are fun, but I bought myself toys two weeks ago and I feel no regrets about it. You don't have to push aside your imagination and replace it with realism, you just have to understand there is a time and place. So, I keep my toys and coloring books at home, but that wont stop me from pulling them out and using them.
So yeah, I'm gonna dye my hair, play with toys, color, sleep with stuffed animals, watch movies in blanket forts, and eat macaroni and cheese, but I'm also gonna file my taxes, buy groceries, make dinner, tell very bad jokes, help out where I can, and argue with 3 year-olds (
A sampling of 'un-adult' things I've done since January :P
Time and time again, life is what you make it. and today I'm gonna make it a good one. So Happy Birthday to me!
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