Thankful, Even When I Can't Be There
whelp, its that time again- the time where I write a blog post about some self realization that is the same realization but in a different shade.
A couple of my friends who also moved here from the states often talk about culture shock, about how there is an initial shock to moving, but people often forget to consider the layers of culture, the longer you live somewhere the more you peel away. So maybe my blog seems mainly about the same thing, but living here has so many layers and every time the shock is new, because its different than I'm used to and I can't logic away that feeling.
Today is Thanksgiving, its one of the few American holidays that I really miss. It has a strange connotation when you are an expat, you feel the loss of this November holiday. Not just the food, but the real feeling that the winter holidays have started. It's Christmas time now. Time to deck the halls, as it were. This year will be my 3rd Christmas away from home, and while I'm sure Shott relishes the calmness that is our Christmas season, I miss the snowy whirlwind of family and friends. I'm always tired come New Years, but its a good tired. And considering how cold and snowy Michigan winters usually end, I don't mind not having the energy to socialize for 2 months.
But I'm not here to complain about having a slow Christmas. I'm grateful to have the time for now. Which brings me back to Thanksgiving. We should be thankful for what we have and the people who are in our lives. Its easy to be thankful about the day to day that we are apart of, but how can you be thankful for something you no longer participate in?
It's been a weird year so far, or at least it has for me, to see so many changes happening at home and only being able to participate in a snippet of it. Our Michigan church 1208 Greenwood became a dinner church in September and it is thriving! Its so exciting to see but weird to not be apart of a major change or event there for the first time. My younger sister got married in April, and her husband is amazing! But I wish we had more time to get to know him, I feel as if we are some distant relative who pops into their lives every once in a while, declares "I remember when you were yay high!" pinches your cheeks and then doesn't speak to you until another family gathering comes around. Those are just two examples of a more complicated feeling.
It is difficult to see people I know participating in my old life, while I'm here participating in my new one. but that's the thing, its not my old life. To me, its still my life, its all the same, which makes it hard when I see something happening in Michigan concurrent to my life in Scotland and I can't participate. Its like writing a book and not being able to finish it. Like, I've invested in this plot for so long and I cant finish writing, so I have to hand it to a ghost writer and watch them finish where I left off.
But this is where is gets complicated, in order to get back where I was in Michigan, I'd have to leave my life here, and the cycle starts all over again. I've inserted myself into new friends lives and I don't want to leave them behind. I've met some amazingly wonderful people who I can't imagine not being part of my day to day now, and that's a difficult place to be. I'd be lying if I said I have figured out a solution to my problem. I mostly just think about it a lot.
The longer I'm away from home the more I think that being an expat is more bittersweet than I thought it would be. Bouts of homesickness strike when I least expect it, but then I spend a few weeks not thinking about what I could be missing and instead leaping into every day with more excitement than the last. I think that's what I'm the most thankful for; knowing life is bittersweet. Plus this blog is to look at the finer side of life and the finer side of this is: I'm a happy lady with a good life. It's so good I have a hard time missing out on all the good times in Michigan while I'm having good times here. My problem is I need to know less amazing people who have so much fun. You hear that everyone? Stop being so awesome, it would make my life easier. Thanks so much :P And Happy Thanksgiving!
Example of my hall decking from last year :D
But I'm not here to complain about having a slow Christmas. I'm grateful to have the time for now. Which brings me back to Thanksgiving. We should be thankful for what we have and the people who are in our lives. Its easy to be thankful about the day to day that we are apart of, but how can you be thankful for something you no longer participate in?
It's been a weird year so far, or at least it has for me, to see so many changes happening at home and only being able to participate in a snippet of it. Our Michigan church 1208 Greenwood became a dinner church in September and it is thriving! Its so exciting to see but weird to not be apart of a major change or event there for the first time. My younger sister got married in April, and her husband is amazing! But I wish we had more time to get to know him, I feel as if we are some distant relative who pops into their lives every once in a while, declares "I remember when you were yay high!" pinches your cheeks and then doesn't speak to you until another family gathering comes around. Those are just two examples of a more complicated feeling.
It is difficult to see people I know participating in my old life, while I'm here participating in my new one. but that's the thing, its not my old life. To me, its still my life, its all the same, which makes it hard when I see something happening in Michigan concurrent to my life in Scotland and I can't participate. Its like writing a book and not being able to finish it. Like, I've invested in this plot for so long and I cant finish writing, so I have to hand it to a ghost writer and watch them finish where I left off.
But this is where is gets complicated, in order to get back where I was in Michigan, I'd have to leave my life here, and the cycle starts all over again. I've inserted myself into new friends lives and I don't want to leave them behind. I've met some amazingly wonderful people who I can't imagine not being part of my day to day now, and that's a difficult place to be. I'd be lying if I said I have figured out a solution to my problem. I mostly just think about it a lot.
This blog is emotionally heavy and needs more pictures, so here is one of Shott and I at Giant's Causeway!
The longer I'm away from home the more I think that being an expat is more bittersweet than I thought it would be. Bouts of homesickness strike when I least expect it, but then I spend a few weeks not thinking about what I could be missing and instead leaping into every day with more excitement than the last. I think that's what I'm the most thankful for; knowing life is bittersweet. Plus this blog is to look at the finer side of life and the finer side of this is: I'm a happy lady with a good life. It's so good I have a hard time missing out on all the good times in Michigan while I'm having good times here. My problem is I need to know less amazing people who have so much fun. You hear that everyone? Stop being so awesome, it would make my life easier. Thanks so much :P And Happy Thanksgiving!
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