Mountains and Hills:
I found an old draft of a post that I intended to write when we first moved here. It was all about missing fall and the upcoming holidays at home and how bummed I will be. But then classes started and next thing I knew, I was on a field course in the Cairngorms and I was appreciating fall here and all the new friends I have made in the past few weeks.
Honestly reading it annoyed me. I sounded super whiny and for no good reason. But hindsight is 20/20 and now I'm not whiny (mostly) and all I want to do is be outside and hang out with new people.
Like I said, last week I had the opportunity to spend a week learning and applying different field techniques. It was one of the most intense courses I've ever had. Completely different from my cross cultural, which was basically a glorified vacation. Every day was packed with new things to learn and it was in an area that was beautiful to look at. There were days when I would wake up cranky and almost immediately my mood would improve simply by looking around me.
I have often wondered if I would prefer a desk job with small amounts of field work or if I would rather be outside getting messy all the time. After working at the USDA for almost 2 years and then this course where I was outside most of the day, I can say I prefer to get dirty. This week I have literally dug into compost with my bare hands just to get accurate readings. I was so excited when we wore waders for a day because it meant I could jump in and out of the water. Even when the work got to me and was hard or boring, it felt right. It's funny, my adviser said the field course was an easy way to judge what kind of work we would like to do with our dissertation. I genuinely enjoyed all of my work and I wanted to do more of everything. It was a great week for me to think of what I want for the future but also a great week of pushing myself.
The hardest activity last week was when we went to Cairngorm Mountain range and took various measurements every 50 meters of elevation. It was a struggle because I'm a slow hiker. I'm mostly just slow at being outside. I like to bike and hike around, but it takes me forever to do it. There is nothing more frustrating than being the last one up the mountain. What really helped was how kind the girls in my group were to me. I was basically useless for measurements. I mostly just took the wind speed because I knew I wouldn't slow anyone down and I started hiking before the group was done so we wouldn't fall behind. but they never looked down on me and they were constantly encouraging me. I'll admit I did cry a little, cuz I was tired and emotional and sometimes it just feels good to get the frustration out. In the end I made it to the top, well I made it 900 meters. It got so windy, we had to stop early. But I did it!
What also helped me put this in to perspective was that the only person who noticed I was slow was myself (and my group cuz I kept pointing it out to them). Everyone else I talked with had no idea I was so far behind. Everyone else had to focus on their own data and to keep it from flying away (seriously, it was so windy). Sometimes I internalize my struggles so much, I make them more than what they are. It wasn't easy for everyone else to do what they were doing, and it makes me even more grateful to the girls to take the time to help me.
So this week's post is kind of rambling and I'm having a hard time trying to find an end to it. Sometimes, that's just the way life is, you learn a lot of little lessons instead of one big one. Kind of like mountain ranges. sometimes its hills, other times there are peaks to climb. Last week it was lots of hills (and technically one mountain).
P.S. I got to fly a drone and it was pretty awesome.
Honestly reading it annoyed me. I sounded super whiny and for no good reason. But hindsight is 20/20 and now I'm not whiny (mostly) and all I want to do is be outside and hang out with new people.
Like I said, last week I had the opportunity to spend a week learning and applying different field techniques. It was one of the most intense courses I've ever had. Completely different from my cross cultural, which was basically a glorified vacation. Every day was packed with new things to learn and it was in an area that was beautiful to look at. There were days when I would wake up cranky and almost immediately my mood would improve simply by looking around me.
Seriously though, how can I stay mad with views like this
I have often wondered if I would prefer a desk job with small amounts of field work or if I would rather be outside getting messy all the time. After working at the USDA for almost 2 years and then this course where I was outside most of the day, I can say I prefer to get dirty. This week I have literally dug into compost with my bare hands just to get accurate readings. I was so excited when we wore waders for a day because it meant I could jump in and out of the water. Even when the work got to me and was hard or boring, it felt right. It's funny, my adviser said the field course was an easy way to judge what kind of work we would like to do with our dissertation. I genuinely enjoyed all of my work and I wanted to do more of everything. It was a great week for me to think of what I want for the future but also a great week of pushing myself.
Me, looking super fly in my waders (photo credit Peter C.)
The hardest activity last week was when we went to Cairngorm Mountain range and took various measurements every 50 meters of elevation. It was a struggle because I'm a slow hiker. I'm mostly just slow at being outside. I like to bike and hike around, but it takes me forever to do it. There is nothing more frustrating than being the last one up the mountain. What really helped was how kind the girls in my group were to me. I was basically useless for measurements. I mostly just took the wind speed because I knew I wouldn't slow anyone down and I started hiking before the group was done so we wouldn't fall behind. but they never looked down on me and they were constantly encouraging me. I'll admit I did cry a little, cuz I was tired and emotional and sometimes it just feels good to get the frustration out. In the end I made it to the top, well I made it 900 meters. It got so windy, we had to stop early. But I did it!
I made it! (but also I'm crazy pleased at how great this picture is)
What also helped me put this in to perspective was that the only person who noticed I was slow was myself (and my group cuz I kept pointing it out to them). Everyone else I talked with had no idea I was so far behind. Everyone else had to focus on their own data and to keep it from flying away (seriously, it was so windy). Sometimes I internalize my struggles so much, I make them more than what they are. It wasn't easy for everyone else to do what they were doing, and it makes me even more grateful to the girls to take the time to help me.
So this week's post is kind of rambling and I'm having a hard time trying to find an end to it. Sometimes, that's just the way life is, you learn a lot of little lessons instead of one big one. Kind of like mountain ranges. sometimes its hills, other times there are peaks to climb. Last week it was lots of hills (and technically one mountain).
View from the top
P.S. I got to fly a drone and it was pretty awesome.
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